Are you a carnivore, or a pulverizer of nuts and crackers? For chewable meats and productive expressions of rage, I suggest an all-steel meat tenderizer. For whom? For almost anyone, really They tend to range from $7 – $40. I say avoid the ones with a rubber handles, because if you are one day in … More The Counterintuitive Kitchen Holiday Guide
It is not just in the kitchen that I feel steeped in things that counter what you might expect, intuitively. I live in a place where I can drive down a road and pass a gentleman’s club parking lot that has a bouncy house and a waterslide in it in the middle of the day … More Also, the bathroom
The other day, at a presentation, an artist described images created by artificial intelligence as “ingrained with violence” and AI products in general as the “spiritless disembodiment of the internet gone mad.” Here are two real things that I actually touched – pineapples and anemones (both at Robin Hollow Farm and Flowers). I did not … More Gillian’s Shame Cake
Sometimes, at the tail end of golden hour, if you are American and living in the Northeast in late winter and therefore darkness is about to swing your way like a sledgehammer, and someone has scheduled a 5:30 pm haircut for a kid who doesn’t want his hair cut, and your job is still sending … More So Very Many Peas
Sometimes the “s” that makes things plural is a lie, depending on your expectations. For example, here I can offer information on only one knife skill, and it’s… not really about cutting or chopping. Here it is! The helping hand should be in bear claw position. The helping hand holds the onion or the jicama … More Knife Skills
Are you looking for a conceptually muddled dessert featuring two textures that fight each other and an edge of post-prandial danger? For once, I know exactly what to tell you. Peanut brittle with ice cream. I started making peanut brittle during the pandemic as a gluten-free thing to give out over the holidays and because … More Peanut Brittle
and also rice pudding We have a gas oven that, when you turn it off, exhales loudly and constantly until the oven’s interior has cooled. There is not an option to turn off whatever fan makes this happen. It sounds like an exasperated dragon, or a general malfunction. It is a noise that suffuses the … More Key Information
Have you ever used a straight razor or a paring knife to chop up dog tranquilizer and then sprinkled the dust onto a slice of sharp cheddar? I have. I have! And then I have proceeded to put that in the microwave. And then I used a child’s play spatula to roll that mess into … More Never
When confronted with options for when, what kind, and how often you get the plague, even though it’s largely not up to you, there’s a lot to consider. Omicron This is a full-bodied variant, with a violent attack, notes of rotted wood and psychotic fermentation in the joints and a spicy jalapeño-like fire that rests … More Covid Tasting Notes
Me: I’m not sure what to make for dinner. Rhoda (a puppy): I’m gonna eat your son’s shoe. Me, having placed slimy shoe on shelf of refrigerator while looking in vegetable drawer: The thing about scallion pancakes is, you start with flat dough, roll it into a log, and then roll the log in on … More Interspecies kitchen
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